Relationship Expert ... or NOT

We have all of these relationship experts out here and yet, relationships seem to be losing their ground all over the place. No respect for them at all. Folks actually embracing these “it’s complicated” statuses. What the foolishness is that? Life is complicated, you doofs, so move it along. You either are or are not in a doggone relationship. If you don’t want a title, don’t get one. I see no problem with that, but these random relationship terms that pretty much say you’re not really in a committed relationship - uhn uhn, get it together.

Anyway, let’s discuss all of these relationship experts. What makes you one? What type of relationships? Had a lot of romantic ones to compare? Just random? What? Cause honestly, I can’t figure it out. And even more, I can’t figure out why I (or anyone else) should listen to you. If you’ve been in THAT many relationships, I’m questioning your ability to commit and trying to figure out WHO keeps making the mistakes in your relationships. I’ve never been a relationship whoremonger so I don’t get that.

I claim no expertise at relationships. Matter of fact, I SUCK at it! I don’t have lifelong friends; they generally enter and exit in 4 year intervals - a cycle. I HATE cycles and try to break them when at all possible, but I cannot shake this one for the most part. There are a couple of folk, but the years still play a role on our closeness (usually growing apart to just the infrequent catch-up/nicety phone calls). And when I consider the couple romantic relationships, they were also on the 4 year cycle. Some people don’t even make it that long. I'm not even that close to my family ... Or at least not as close as I want to be with them in my head. And honestly, I don't even know how to get there. I love them & would do anything for those in that intimate little bubble of mine. The funny thing is that I’ve come to the point where I warn people when they start that “forever” “let’s be besties” “we’re sisters” talk cause I just don’t feel like dealing with that mess.

So you tell me, what makes a person a relationship expert? And why should I listen to them? Why should