I don't condone it... But I am a mean sarcastic son of a ...

What up my friends?

Today, I had an opportunity to sit back and chill while Lady Wife drove.  It doesn't happen too often, but every now and again, she drives and I get a chance to sit back. Sleep, play on my phone, text, look at twitter, etc... Well while I was looking on twitter, I saw a tweet about something Ray Rice's lawyer said.  In case you don't know, Ray Rice was indicted for assault against his, then, fianceé.  Now this is no real surprise.  Not so much because he is a professional athlete or anything, but really, I see stories of domestic violence EVERY day via twitter, the news (and of course) TMZ.  What does surprise me is that Rice's Lawyer could go as far as to make a statement, or excuse as to what happened that night.

Before I continue with this post, allow me to fully disclose how I feel.  I do NOT condone the hitting of anyone, unless in the case of self defense - Especially one that you share a domestic relationship with.  That's childish, cowardly, and downright disrespectful, and I will not stand or allow it, ESPECIALLY if I'm near enough to stop or do something about the situation.

With that being said though, I had to stop and think, what possibly the lawyer could have been thinking to justify or rationalize the situation.  He made the comment that he could hypothesize what possibly took place the night of the incident.  But being the person that I am, I can only imagine (and trust me I did) what reasons the lawyer may have come up with to justify Ray Rice's knock out blow on his fianceé.  Here are just a few reasons that I could think of that he could have come up with for his defense:

10) She kept tickling him.
9) She didn't tell him that his zipper was down.
8) She kept hogging the mirror in the elevator.
7) She didn't think he could swing with his left hand.
6) He really meant to just give her a "love tap".
5) He wanted to make a quick get-away, and she was slowing him up.
4) She didn't straighten his tie "right".
3) She rubbed her feet on the carpet and gave him a static shock.
2) She's a Denver Bronco's fan.

And the top reason that he knocked her out in the hotel elevator:

1) She pressed all the buttons on the elevator, just to be funny.

Now once again, I do not condone domestic violence at all.  I just find humor in all things, and good, bad, or ugly, I believe that all things happen for a reason, and we all should learn from these experiences.  But in the mean time, I can always laugh at what has been thrown at me...