28.5.14

Beak To The Cheek

Heeeyyyy y'all! I know it's been a minute from me and I was supposed to have done something as a countdown each day up to my birthday. Well, my birthday has come & gone. I've been extra busy preparing for my summer work season and haven't had the time to do what I need to do here. We still good right?

Hopefully so because I have a story for you!! Best story I've had in a long time. Y'all ready? Here we go.

I'd gotten home, put the lil man down for his nap, and eaten my lunch. It was time to get down to the business of preparing dinner and completing my current kitchen project [post to come]. I get out my Playaway, place my ear buds in my ear and get to getting. Well, I know there's no meat in the fridge so I needed to run downstairs real quick to get some out of the freezer. So off to the basement, I go. Flip the light switch, close the door, and proceed down the stairs. I got to the bottom of the stairs and heard fluttering and saw something fly past me. BOOM! I snatch my ear buds out and listen. Flutter! Flutter! Flutter! Quiet. What the??!! Flutter! Flutter! Quiet. Aaww man! Something is down here with me. The only weapon near me are lil man's plastic golf clubs and balls. I think maybe if I throw them to the other side, the thing will go towards the sound so I can get up the stairs and out the door. I throw 2 of them and nothing happens. I take the other and peek around the corner. I see this up on the light closest to the door out:
Bird in Basement Cousin
May not look menacing to you out in its element, but in my not so bright & open basement, it looked as though it would attack. I flipped the lights on & off and ran back over by the freezer. It didn't move. No flutter at all. I peered around the corner again and the thing fluttered, looked around, and stayed perched there on the light. Keep in mind this is a light on the wall, not the ceiling and it's right at the door leading out of the basement. I quickly proceeded into the storage area of my basement - it has a door - to think.

Cheap White Curtain Rods
My first thought was "I have so lost my I am woman, hear me roar" card being afraid of a doggone bird. Also, I had no phone or any kind of communication option down in that basement. I decided that noise was my only option because I couldn't let this thing get into the rest of my house. My baby was sleeping upstairs. So I armed myself with one of those cheap white curtain rods and thought some more. Flutter! Flutter! Flutter! Quiet.

I came up with a plan to make a bit of noise in the storage, get the bird down the doggone stairs, and run like **** out of there. I banged the storage room door a few times to lure him. I heard the fluttering and then bang into the vent above the door leading into the storage room. More fluttering and quiet. I gather my nerves and remember that I have got to get out of this doggone basement to my baby without being attacked my this menacing bird that somehow got into my basement. I peeked out of the storage room, see the bird perched on lil man's basketball hoop and immediately run like **** up the stairs and out of the basement closing the door as I hit the landing. Flutter! Flutter! Swoosh! Boom! Flutter! Flutter! Flutter! Quiet.

Heart pounding, feeling like it's gonna jump out of my chest, I head straight for the phone. Picking up my phone with hands shaking, I call my protector. He answers. I respond with, "We have a bird in our basement and we're not having meat for dinner." After explaining that I'll tell him the whole story later, but I'm okay, he laughs. If you know my husband, you know it was to be expected. Laughter is his cure-all. He promises to get it out with my help later and we hang up. I'm still shaking and can't concentrate on my kitchen project. I go print my birthday coupons so I can begin to organize my freebies.

So fast forward ahead. I finally stop shaking, finish up my prints, and wake lil man from his nap. We head down for snack and a lil TV time. While watching Cyberchase ... Boom! Flutter! Flutter! Boom! Flutter! Quiet. That doggone bird had heard the TV & prolly followed the lights to our living room vents. Oooohhh NO! Not while my baby is up here. I cover up all vents with dark heavy items and settle back down. No noise is heard anymore.

Through Hangouts, we devise a plan to get this bird out once Husband has arrived home from work. I researched a few sites about removing birds, but I wasn't feeling the whole towel & box options I found. Didn't want to have to control that fluttering bird. It seemed frustrated and I totally understood. I'd be frustrated stuck in a basement too. Anyway ... on to our plans.

We planned to lead the bird out with old sheets. So when he got in, we put up a sheet right by the door of the basement to prevent the bird from going towards the rest of the house. Then he covered the mud closet on the other side to prevent the bird from finding a nook to perch there. Husband had the garage door up and opened the door out to the garage. We were ready. The bird should fly out of the basement out into the garage and out into the world ... out of my basement.

1st try: Husband opens the basement door, turns on light, and hides behind door. No sound is heard. I make noise from my perch behind the sheet (on the side of the rest of the house). Nothing. He closes the door and we make more noise to see if we hear anything. Nothing. Okay, so we decide to try again. This time, husband peeks to see if he can see anything first. He saw it & completely understood my earlier issue. HEH HEH HEH! (My turn to laugh behind the safety of that sheet.)

2nd try: Husband prepares himself and opens the basement door again, turns on light, and hides behind door. Nothing happens again. We make noise back & forth to lure the bird. Nothing happens. He decides to head into the garage (for his safety goggles). He's looking for them. I'm waiting. Flutter! Flutter! I yell, "The bird is coming. This bird is coming." He apparently hits the garage floor like shots were being fired. Saw the black flash of bird go by, perch into a corner of the garage, look around, and then fly away. It's out.

Total relief! Laughter ensued for a LONG time!

We took the sheets down and went on about our day. We haven't checked the basement for where that bird got in just yet, but that's on deck for later today. I'm not ready to go down just yet, but it'll be fine. My comedic protector of a husband will be right by my side when it's time. {Ssshhh- he may not know that just yet. Heh heh heh!}

Oh yeah, we discussed the whole incident later and found out an interesting fact about myself. I can take a burn to the face, but not a beak to the cheek. LMBO!

And that folks is my story of yesterday's healthy dose of laughter.

Laugh on folks & close up any openings into your house.

Flutter! Flutter! Boom!